Wednesday, December 30, 2009

In Dating

I'm a nearly-24 year old LDS girl from Salt Lake City, Utah...
and I'm single.

I'm not necessarily given a hard time about it, but I do get a lot of people asking why I'm not in a relationship, and many a family conversation has begun with "So are you seeing any boys?" as if there could not possibly be anything more important or interesting going on in my life. Granted, I am practically the oldest girl in all my family that is not married yet, and I do have a large family, so I understand their concern, but the concept that nobody seems to grasp is that I am looking for something that I have not found yet.
For a long time I thought I was being too particular; that I was deliberately acting stubborn and harsh. I have dated a lot of different guys, and one after another just were not what I was looking for. I thought maybe my standards were unreasonably high, or maybe subconsciously I was bent on being difficult and causing havoc among the male population, because surely I would have found someone by now. (I'm surprised the League of Single LDS Men has not viciously tacked my picture and methods on their "Warning: Undateable" bulletin board, if such league and bulletin board exist, which I am forced to believe until it is proven otherwise.)
So as I was thinking on this whole situation one night, I told myself that from now on I would not be as strict with my rules of dating and that I would be more accommodating. As soon as I thought that thought, I was taken over with such an unmistakable yet brief feeling of NO. It was then that I realized that time has nothing to do with quality. If everyone on this earth is different in physical appearance, train of thought, voice or mentality, then they certainly would all be different in how and when they find their eternal companions. And I am willing to wait as long as it takes to find someone worthy of my companionship, and of whose companionship I am worthy as well.
Unfortunately, that means going on crazy dates until I get there. And I have gone on a lot of them. But, from each strange or unpleasant dating experience I have learned something that I have found crucial to taking myself that one tiny step closer to something real, and even if it is only for a few laughs, I will share them here.